Customer: ''I''ve been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can''t get through to enquiries, can you help?''.
Operator: ''Where did you get that number from, sir?''.
Customer: ''It was on the door to the Travel Centre''.
Operator: ''Sir, they are our opening hours''.
''A man accused of theft was appearing before the Judge.
"Your Honor," his lawyer said, "I feel it is very unfair for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in this city only a few days ago and barely knows his way around. What''s more, he is only able to speak a few words of English."
The judge looked sternly at the defendant and asked, "How much English do you speak?"
The defendant looked up and replied, "Give me your wallet!"''
