Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!
''A gang of thieves broke into a lawyer''s club by mistake. The old legal begals gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
Outside...
''It ain''t so bad, Louie'' one crook noted. ''We got $25 between us.''
The boss screamed, ''I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! We had $100 when we broke in dat joint!''''