Funny SMS Messages9373 messages

Santa kissed his girl friend in the park.

Girl: Plz ye sb shadi se pehle?

Santa: Don?t worry darling, I''m already married
Tumhare Liye Main Kutoo Ki Jan lesakta hu
Gutka le sakta hu pan le sakta hun..

Kaaway pakr k de sakta hu tumhare hath main
Suraj per jasakta hun magar kya ha k rat main..

tumhare liye main so saal g sakta hun
tumhare liye main teen glass lassii k pi sakta hu..

tumhare abba agr plain dila dein to tare tor k la sakta hu
shair agr nakli ho to ankhe phor k asakta hu..

itna bhadur hu k chupke se muhabbat ka dum bharta hu
tum se milne roz aoo magr tumhare abba se darta hu..
Ager pakre gaye to tere sare raz khol donga..
Aur
Ager burayi mujh pe ayi to bhare majme main tujhe behan bol donga..
Once there were 3 guys praying..n all of a sudden da light goes off..
guy 1: "lo jee bijli tur gaye "
guy 2: "oay bewaqoof namaz parhdaya nahi bolday"
guy 3: "Shuker way main nae boalya"
A husband read an article to his wife about "How many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man''s 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, " What?"
An old man tottered into a lawyer''s office and asked for help in arranging a divorce. "A divorce?" asked the unbelieving lawyer. "Tell me, how old are you?"

"I''m eighty-four, " answered the old man.

"Eighty-four! And how old is your wife?"

"My wife is eighty-one. "

"My, my," said the lawyer, "And how long have you been married?"

"Next September we will complete sixty-two years."

"Married for sixty-two years?! Why would you want a divorce now?"

"Because," the man answered calmly, "enough is enough."
Dr: Aap pagal kaise huwe?
Pagal: kuch time pehle main ne ek bewa se shadi ki us ki jawan beti ne mere baap se shadi ki: yun wo meri saas ban gaye,un k ghar beti hui to rishte mai wo meri behn hui kiun k main us k baap ka beta tha,dosri taraf wo meri nawasi bhi hui, kiun k main us ki nani ka shohar tha, is liye main apni behn ka nana bana,phir mere ghar beta huwa, tu meri biwi ki beti, mere bete ki dadi bhi lagti thi kiun k wo meri soteli maa thi, chunache mera beta apni dadi ka bhai ban gaya aur main apne bete ka bhanja aur....
Dr: bas karo! Khuda k wastay bas karo warna main pagal hojaonga...
Hum Dosto Ko Bäri Gandi Saza Dete
Hain,,,,,,,,!!





HUM DOSTO KO BARI GANDI $AZA DETE
HAIN...!!!




Joota Marte Nahi Moza Soongha Dety Hain,,,,,!!
Rail ke dabbey mein ye qissaa huaa
ek bachchaa zor se rone lagaa

maa ne samajhaane kii koshish kii bahot
us ko bahalaane kii koshish kii bahot

thak ke aaKhir loriiyaan gaane lagii
bijaliyaan kaano par barasaane lagii

das minute tak loriiyaan jab vo gaa chukii
til-milaa kar bol uthaa ek aadmii..

"Behanjii, itnaa karam ab kiijiiye
loriyan bend kiijiiye or is bachche ko rone diijiiye!"
BOY: "Muj se shadi karo gi"


GIRL: Kyaaaaaaaaaaa?



BOY: Achi film hai na..!


GIRL : Kuttay k bachay..!



BOY: Whaaaaaaaaaat????



GIRL: Kitnay cute hotay hain na....
Two guls are talking to each other:
HEY I GOT MARRIED!
OH,THATS GOOD!
NO DATS BAD ,HE''S UGLY!
OH DATS BAD!
NO DATS GOOD HE IS RICH!
OH,THATS GOOD!
NO DATS BAD ,HE WONT GIVE ME A PENNY
OH DATS BAD!
NO DATS GOOD HE BOUGHT ME A BIG HOUSE!
OH,THATS GOOD!
NO DATS BAD THE HOUSE BURNT DOWN!
OH DATS BAD!
NO DATS GOOD HE WAS IN IT!
shama pe chala mukadma parwane ke khoon ka,
pucha gaya shama se kyun kiya khoon maasum ka,
shama boli...
parwana jawani ke nashe main jhoom raha tha,
mere agge piche ghoom raha tha,
khoon na karti to kya karti,
bhari mehfil main mujhe choom raha tha..