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I had once thought

I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
no love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!

an’t remember

an’t remember anything
Can’t tell if this is true or dream
Deep down inside I feel to scream
This terrible silence stops me

now that the war is through with me
I’m waking up I can not see
That there is not much left of me
nothing is real but pain now

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god,wake me

Hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please god,wake me
now the world is gone I’m just one
Oh god,help me hold my breath as I wish for death
Oh please God help me

When they come

When they come to me, all I see is your face
When they start to speak your voice takes their place
It''s a voice that promises to always be there
no matter what they say, I know you still care
Always and Forever is what this means to me

i never get to tell

i never get to tell you what I really need to say
How I long to hold you each and every day
You mean more to me than words can ever express
Without you my life would be a total mess
As I look into your eyes, and at your perfect face
I know there will never be anyone to take your place
no matter what problems we may go through
That place in my heart will always be for you
If I am having a hard time letting you in
It''s because I have played the game, and never win
Your love means so much to me
I just don''t know how to make you see
I don''t care what people say
We can stick together anyway

Give me death

Give me death! I pray every day
Leave me not, to sigh, in every way
Seen I have, those beautiful days
Those little red flowers in an awesome place.

Why these windows, in front of me?
And all the beauty outside, and free
Ran, I have upon the soft wet ground
I walk far no more, just safe and sound

My beloved ones, have all gone away
Laughter, I yearn to hear, to be merry and gay
Tears, I have in my heart and dreams too
Like my youth, won`t the pills vanish too?

Years and years, have I spent in glee?
To sit here and look at the old worn tree
Searched I have, for a leaf of hope,
A lover from the skies, with whom to elope

Today is filled with

Today is filled with anger, fueled with hidden hate.
Scared of being outkast, afraid of common fate.
Today is built on tragedies which no one wants to face.
Nightmares to humanity and morally disgraced.
Tonight is filled with rage, violence in the air.
Children bred with ruthlessness cause no one at home cares.
Tonight I lay my head down but the pressure never stops,
knawing at my sanity, content when I m dropped.
But tomorrow I see a change, a chance to build anew,
built on Spirit, intent of heart, and ideas based on truth.
Tomorrow I wake with second wind and strong ideas of pride.
I know I fought with all my heart to keep the dream alive

What Is, Is In Love

One likes darkness, another is in the light.
Another drills to pile up worldly possessions.

What is, is in love, the rest is futile.
The world is nothing, its sultan and its shah all nothing.

Was there ever a sultan whose throne survived?
Is there a lover in this world whose name will fade?

May God bless my father who told my teacher:
"Teach my son love’s lesson, and nothing else."

Look at the soil and rock of the desert;
they’re mourning Majnun’s tears.

If Mazun dies as a pauper,
write on his tombstone: This is love’s abode. And nothing else

What Is, Is In Love

What Is, Is In Love (S6)

I’m a moth circling the light of the beloved’s face.
Give me your soul-nourishing hand, and nothing else.

If my body is cut from head to toe,
Every joint is love’s abode, and nothing else.

When the drum of “Am I not your Lord?” was beaten,
to test the friend from the enemy,
when the Friend asked, He heard His answer:
I said the name of love, and nothing else.

(Carl’s English poetic experiment:
I said “trouble!” but that’s
love, and nothing else.)

Majnun is drunk from

Majnun is drunk from love, and Layla is drunk from coyness.
The mountain existed and this madman also existed.

The eyes of beauties were drunken and murderous.
Her tongue was like sugar, and her lips the confectioner.

The suffering boy and the loving girl existed,
the tyrant father and miser mother were also there.

That teasing that breaches faith,
the arrow of coy that pierces the soul,

It was not that Mazun was targeted last night,
the arrow was there and the target was there.

I didn’t decide to

I didn’t decide to carry the load of sorrow,
sorrow existed, this house of sorrow also existed.

I didn’t lift the Jam-e Jam to drink wine,
wine existed, this house of wine also was there.

It is said: "He who created the house of love,
let the beloved burn and the lover burnt."

The cruelty of the red rose, and the cry of the nightingale—
the candle existed, and this moth also existed.

One’s pain is too much, another’s little,
one’s heart is afflicted, another’s smiles.

They could never

They could never understand
what u set out 2 do
instead they chose 2
ridicule u

when u got weak
they loved the sight
of your dimming
and flickering starlight

How could they understand what was so intricate
2 be loved by so many, so intimate

they wanted 2 c your lifeless corpse
this way u could not alter the course
of ignorance that they have set
2 make my people forget
what they have done for much 2 long
2 just forget and carry on

I had loved u forever because of who u r
and now I mourn our fallen star

and you may be

and you may be sort of a loner, but that
doesn''t mean you want to be. What hurts you
is people being mean and even though you
might not get it that often, since you''re so
sensitive it still makes you deal with pain.
You''re not a leader and are usually the
person who stands alone, does what she''s
supposed to do and nothing else.

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