I had once thought

I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!

Jun, 18 2010 624 chars (4 sms) 4707 views English Poetry

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Fears wash away

Fears wash away from one single touch
Longing to be closer so to your waist I clutch
I shuffle my feet closer to the edge
Fears resurfacing, I can''t fall from this ledge
But then you take my hand into yours, what a sensation!
I peer over the edge for a look at sweet temptation

To Keep suppressing this feeling is to keep telling lies
I don''t feel frightened when you look into my eyes
I lean over the edge just a little more
I hear you call my name again just like before
If I should let go and fall from this ledge above
Tell me, will you reach out and catch me if I fall in love?

SmiLiNg Is NoT

SmiLiNg Is NoT My ReAliTy,
ThIs Is HoW I PrEtEnD To Be,
By NiGhT I CrY MySeLf To SlEeP,
WiD My GoD FrOwNiNg At Me,
DrOwnInG In A FlOoD Of TeArS,
BuT TeArs Are My DeStInY,
My ViSiOn A BlUr As I FuLLFiLL,
AnD ThIs Is HoW I MeAnT To Be,
My LiFe UnWoRthY,
My SelF To KiLL,
ExIsTeNcE A ToRtUrE I MuSt EnDurE,
As U RegArDeD SuiCiDe As SiN,
I M NoT AgAiNsT U My HeArt Is PuRe,
FaTe Is MoCkInG WiTh An EviL GriN,
SuRrOuNDeD In A BlAcK NeSs So DeEp,
I WaLk,I SeE But SuRvIvE No MoRe,
I M DeAd InSiDe,
In DaRkNeSs WeEp,
YoU KnoW I LoVe U,
LIkE EvEr BeFoRe,
FoRgIvE Me As In My GrAvE I LaY,
FrEe Me oF ThiS PaIn AnD LeT Me DiE,
I JuSt CaNT BaRe It AnY MoRe:''(

A carousel forever

A carousel forever turning
They care not, self is paramount
All egos blazing
Hour after endless hour they continue
On
Leaving me alone
Cornered, with nowhere to run
Only one can end this
Your refusal burning deep
Branding me, scarring my psyche
I pray to sleep eternally this night
For tomorrow brings more pain
And I can face no more tomorrows
No home to succor me
Who will care, responsibility is for
Those who accept it and try to make it right
I am here, my love is real, tangible
Yours to accept
Don''t shut me out
Don''t push me from you
For then there will be no more
Tomorrows
Only eternal peace

If only the world

If only the world could see what I feel
then, would the world, know who I am
I''ve loved, lost and feared the world
for it is sometimes too much to bare

Control, power, is what I fear
for I am weak inside and full of pain
I shout and cry, but knowing
there is nobody there to hear me
I swallow the shame and anger
that lies beneath me

I am lost to reality and living in time
Though I am struggling through life
and all that it offers, I am only human
and that is what makes me . . . Me.

Still, I wish for the happiness and pleasure
that I have earned, but realize that, I have
not yet overcome the world''s greatest challenge

Love! and how to accept it -
I am ready to face my fears

Have you ever been

Have you ever been in love?
so in love that you couldn''t form those words
thoughts buzzing in your head that you dare not speak
afraid to speak because you might say something dumb
you crawl into your own world
keep your feelings to yourself
no one knows how you feel inside, sometimes not even yourself
you giggle crazily when he is around
you feel like you will die when you hug goodbye
at the end of the day your going crazy with anticipation for tomorrow
you gather all your courage to finally say those words
you grab your pen and spill your emotins onto the paper
expressing all your love on one sheet of paper
its agony to hand it over to the one you love
the fear of rejection is greater than any pain you know
you finally let go and walk away

Give me death

Give me death! I pray every day
Leave me not, to sigh, in every way
Seen I have, those beautiful days
Those little red flowers in an awesome place.

Why these windows, in front of me?
And all the beauty outside, and free
Ran, I have upon the soft wet ground
I walk far no more, just safe and sound

My beloved ones, have all gone away
Laughter, I yearn to hear, to be merry and gay
Tears, I have in my heart and dreams too
Like my youth, won`t the pills vanish too?

Years and years, have I spent in glee?
To sit here and look at the old worn tree
Searched I have, for a leaf of hope,
A lover from the skies, with whom to elope

Do You Remember

Do You Remember?

Handsome, your beauty surpasses other beauties.
Write, let me know how you are doing, peri.

Everybody did, what happens if I do?
Describing your charm in this gathering, peri?

Your breasts are like marble. Your alef-like stature resembles spruce.
Around your flower-like face, curl to curl, is ambergris scented hair.

You’d sleep and I’d stay all night till dawn,
Guarding your assets and riches, peri.

The day I fell in love with your moon-like charm.
I found that my incurable pain had no remedy.

Do you remember, I was saying: Dawn, Dawn?
Praying no ruin falls on you, peri?

The day I met u

The day I met u I saw strength
and I knew from that point on
that u were pure woman 2 me
possessing a spirit that was strong
I want smiles 2 replace the sorrow
that u have encountered in the past
and since it was strength that attracted me 2 u
it will take strength 2 make it last
My negative side will attempt 2 change u
but please fight that with your all
it will be your strength that keep us both standing
while others around us fall

i sit in the park

i sit in the park where i dwell,
for this girl i love so well.
she took my heart away from me,
now she wants to set me free.

i see a boy on her lap,
she says things to him she never said to me.
i ran home to cry on my bed,
not a word to mother was said.

father came home late that night,
he looked at me from left to right.
he saw me hanging from rope,
he took his knife to cut me down,
and on my dress a note was found.

dig my grave,dig it deep.
dig my grave, from head to feet.
and on the top place a dobe.
and remember this, i did for love.

I don''t know what

I don''t know what it is
that is making me fall for you.
There is just something,
something hidden within.
You are starting to mean a lot,
I hope things turn out good,
no matter what happens.
In all ways-
You will still be my friend.
I have come to know you,
you are a really fun person.
I am tired of hearing bad things
and they are all about you.
I don''t believe any of them,
because I believe you.
You would be my first boyfriend,
I wouldn''t mind that being you.
So come into my life,
as if it were yours.
You are welcome to my heart,
as long as you don''t break it.
You break it, you buy it.

I saw in a bird the instinct of love

I saw in a bird the instinct of love
And in her daughter I saw the Need
Her mother is the only source
By which she can feed
And I need you, in your land there was my seed
......So why cruelty is the only thing in your eyes
That I can read

Pain ! Pain ! Pain

Pain ! Pain ! Pain

so positive is your poetry !

Meena

Doesn''t really matter
My heart wont shatter
What if I am alone

------Clap !

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I had once thought

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