I had once thought

I had once thought
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!
  

Jun, 18 2010     624 chars (4 sms)     2907 views       English Poetry

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Have you ever been in love?
so in love that you couldn''t form those words
thoughts buzzing in your head that you dare not speak
afraid to speak because you might say something dumb
you crawl into your own world
keep your feelings to yourself
no one knows how you feel inside, sometimes not even yourself
you giggle crazily when he is around
you feel like you will die when you hug goodbye
at the end of the day your going crazy with anticipation for tomorrow
you gather all your courage to finally say those words
you grab your pen and spill your emotins onto the paper
expressing all your love on one sheet of paper
its agony to hand it over to the one you love
the fear of rejection is greater than any pain you know
you finally let go and walk away
Words twist and tumble
Through my mind
But I can''t grab the right word
Or the right line
So we sit
In silence
But it’s not uncomfortable
In fact I love it
You rest your head on my chest
As we lay here
Lovers entwined
Hearts tangled
You raise your head
And look into my eyes
And I see our love
Almost as if it’s a real force
I don’t ever want to lose this moment
You lay your head on my chest once again
And now I can feel your heartbeat
And my hearts skips
And I finally find the words I’m looking for
I love you
~*~ OLD MEMORIES ~*~

I treasure sweet old memories
As the time goes swiftly by
A few bring smiles of happiness
And some tears to the eye

They all r precious in their way
Reopening the door of old
That have been shut these many years
What pictures they unfold

These dear old, sweet old memories
All play their special part
In bringing joy and opening up
The latch strings of the heart ... (:->
One likes darkness, another is in the light.
Another drills to pile up worldly possessions.

What is, is in love, the rest is futile.
The world is nothing, its sultan and its shah all nothing.

Was there ever a sultan whose throne survived?
Is there a lover in this world whose name will fade?

May God bless my father who told my teacher:
"Teach my son love’s lesson, and nothing else."

Look at the soil and rock of the desert;
they’re mourning Majnun’s tears.

If Mazun dies as a pauper,
write on his tombstone: This is love’s abode. And nothing else
some say love it is a river,
that drowns the tender reed.
some say love it is a razor,
that leaves ur soul to bleed.
some say love it is a hunger,
an endless aching need.
BUT !!
i say love it is a flower,
n u r its only seed.
i sit in the park where i dwell,
for this girl i love so well.
she took my heart away from me,
now she wants to set me free.



i see a boy on her lap,
she says things to him she never said to me.
i ran home to cry on my bed,
not a word to mother was said.


father came home late that night,
he looked at me from left to right.
he saw me hanging from rope,
he took his knife to cut me down,
and on my dress a note was found.



dig my grave,dig it deep.
dig my grave, from head to feet.
and on the top place a dobe.
and remember this, i did for love.
Across skies, the sun starts to limn
Waking up to a morning hymn
Roosters’ crow and sparrows tweet
In deep slumber, an alarm sweet

Strumming upon the leafy ground
Sweepers crafting a hip sound
Coffee poured and buckets filled
Streams gurgling, dreams fulfilled.

In the kitchen, vessels clang and fall
At a crescendo, milkman starts to call
Telephones ring, radio springs alive
Joggers pant, in harmony all dive.

As the band plays, starts all festivity
From stillness of night, a sudden levity
To awaken me, do thy make all the fuss
In pure merriment, I wake up thus

Fill my ears again, before I yawn
Haunt with visuals of a glorious Eon
From morning dew, a lesson reborn
Learn and listen to symphony at dawn
|*| Love Lost |*|

I Am Not Yours,
Not Lost In You,
Not Lost,
Although I Long To Be Lost As A Candle Lit At Noon,
Lost As A Snowflake In The Sea.
You Love Me, And
I Find You Still A Spirit Beautiful And Bright,
Yet I Am I, Who Long To Be Lost As A Light Is Lost In Light. Oh Plunge Me Deep In Love --
Put Out My Senses,
Leave Me Deaf And Blind, Swept By The Tempest Of Your Love,
A Taper In A Rushing Wind.
I can survive,
And still jive
Though you are gone

Doesn''t really matter
My heart wont shatter
What if I am alone

Let the flowers bloom
Let the birds chirp
I wont drown in gloom

Let the wind whisper
Sweet nothings,
Let the cloud flirt

The fragrance,
the lilting melody
The nightly croon

Nothing can make me miss you
Nothing can sway

But...
it rained today...
You are friendly, kind and caring
Sensitive, loyal and understanding
Humorous, fun, secure and true
Always there... yes that''s you.

Special, accepting, exciting and wise
Truthful and helpful, with honest blue eyes
Confiding, forgiving, cheerful and bright
Yes that''s you... not one bit of spite.

You''re one of a kind, different from others
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game
But not just another... in the long chain.

Appreciative, warm and precious like gold
Our friendship won''t tarnish or ever grow old
You''ll always be there, I know that is true
I''ll always be here... always for you.
you hold me close i feel so loved with feelings warm and true
you bring me hope, you bring me joy, you bring me all of you
you tell me so much in unspoken words, just actions and a smile
you help me believe that i can trust, and feel safe for a while
you hold me and surround me, make me feel so safe
your kiss and touch engulfs me, takes me to a higher place
you talk to me so tenderly, without saying a word
you show me that i''m needed, that only our hearts are heard
you help me see the totalness the completeness of only you
you show me without selfishness, the inner truth thats you
you take my hopes and all my dreams, help them to be real
you hold me close on angels wings, show me love that i can feel
Understanding where we went wrong

is the beginning to an end

I lost my ways in the cloudy night searching for

for that true love

Is true love! when you let you self

go to dark places you can come back

Empty lies trying to explain why

I ''m leaving you

Sorry love! is just too late

for you and I

finding the right words trying

to stop your tears from coming

down

I didn''t mean to hurt you but I don''t

love you anymore

I want to find that someone

that my heart will skip a beat

each time I look her

Seductive candlelight

of lust and passion are

at my door step

coming, undress me

and let me forget my pain

those are lost word

I can find to tell you

that I don''t love you anymore.......