I had once thought

I had once thought
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!
  

Jun, 18 2010     624 chars (4 sms)     2900 views       English Poetry

more English Poetry SMS Messages

SmiLiNg Is NoT My ReAliTy,
ThIs Is HoW I PrEtEnD To Be,
By NiGhT I CrY MySeLf To SlEeP,
WiD My GoD FrOwNiNg At Me,
DrOwnInG In A FlOoD Of TeArS,
BuT TeArs Are My DeStInY,
My ViSiOn A BlUr As I FuLLFiLL,
AnD ThIs Is HoW I MeAnT To Be,
My LiFe UnWoRthY,
My SelF To KiLL,
ExIsTeNcE A ToRtUrE I MuSt EnDurE,
As U RegArDeD SuiCiDe As SiN,
I M NoT AgAiNsT U My HeArt Is PuRe,
FaTe Is MoCkInG WiTh An EviL GriN,
SuRrOuNDeD In A BlAcK NeSs So DeEp,
I WaLk,I SeE But SuRvIvE No MoRe,
I M DeAd InSiDe,
In DaRkNeSs WeEp,
YoU KnoW I LoVe U,
LIkE EvEr BeFoRe,
FoRgIvE Me As In My GrAvE I LaY,
FrEe Me oF ThiS PaIn AnD LeT Me DiE,
I JuSt CaNT BaRe It AnY MoRe:''(
|*| Love Lost |*|

I Am Not Yours,
Not Lost In You,
Not Lost,
Although I Long To Be Lost As A Candle Lit At Noon,
Lost As A Snowflake In The Sea.
You Love Me, And
I Find You Still A Spirit Beautiful And Bright,
Yet I Am I, Who Long To Be Lost As A Light Is Lost In Light. Oh Plunge Me Deep In Love --
Put Out My Senses,
Leave Me Deaf And Blind, Swept By The Tempest Of Your Love,
A Taper In A Rushing Wind.
As I turn out the lightAs I turn out the light
And look up the moon
I put my hands together
And pray that your okay

I gaze across the sky
And court the many stars
As I wonder what you are doing
Wonder where you are

No matter where I go
I always see your face
I hear the sound of your voice
In every single place

Although you’re far away
In my heart you’ll always be
In my prayers you’ll always mentioned
In my dreams you’ll always seen….



As i Look the stars above me,
I wish you were somewhere
I don t have everything
as a matter of fact I don t have anything
except dream of a better day
and you 2 help me find my way
Being a man I am sure 2 make mistakes
but 2 keep u I would do all it takes
and if it meant my love was really true
I d gladly die and watch over u
I wish u knew how much I cared
u d see my love is true by the life we d share
Even if u changed your mind and said our love was thru
I d want 2 die continuously cry and still I d love u
How come I don''t know my own pain?
I''m the doctor and the remedy myself.

I wandered around the universe.
For the friend''s sake I have broken my heart.

Oh poor me! I didn''t know
I ''m the beloved and the lover myself.

Mazun, I made myself degraded.
I chose to be in love.

I gave my sole to the beloved.
Soul myself, devotee myself.
I stand at the edge straight as a board
Overwhelmed by my fears my desires ignored
I reach out my hands only to hold myself back
My mind racing sorting fiction from fact
My head lifts and eyes brighten when I hear you call
Still I remain motionless, I don''t wanna fall

I''m afraid, but what exactly am I afraid of?
My heart shutters at the thought of falling in love
Overcome by fear I remain completely still
My emotions can''t deepen if I refuse to feel
Once again my name escapes from your lips
I feel the gentle brush of your sweet fingertips
I Will Love You Forever

I love you so deeply,
I love you so much,
I love the sound of your voice
And the way that we touch.
I love your warm smile
And your kind, thoughtful way,
The joy that you bring
To my life every day.
I love you today
As I have from the start,
And I''ll love you forever
With all of my heart.
Laugh so hard that even
sorrow smiles at u!
Live life so well that even
death loves to see u live!
Fight so hard that even
fate accepts its defeat.
"October''s The Month
When The Smallest Breeze
Gives Us A Shower
Of Autumn Leaves.
Bonfires And Pumpkins,
Leaves Sailing Down -
October Is Red
And Golden And Brown."
- Can Teach Songs

"Listen! The Wind Is Rising,
And The Air Is Wild With Leaves,
We Have Had Our Summer Evenings,
Now For October Eves!"
- Humbert Wolfe
A carousel forever turning
They care not, self is paramount
All egos blazing
Hour after endless hour they continue
On
Leaving me alone
Cornered, with nowhere to run
Only one can end this
Your refusal burning deep
Branding me, scarring my psyche
I pray to sleep eternally this night
For tomorrow brings more pain
And I can face no more tomorrows
No home to succor me
Who will care, responsibility is for
Those who accept it and try to make it right
I am here, my love is real, tangible
Yours to accept
Don''t shut me out
Don''t push me from you
For then there will be no more
Tomorrows
Only eternal peace
It was an ordinary day
I was caught in my routine when
Suddenly something made me think of you.

I paused for a moment n smiled.

It was no longer an ordinary day....;->
You wonder if its real
how do you know it''s true?
sorry honey,
I can''t answer that for you

but Ill ask you some questions
lets see how you do,
lets see if this guy
is really right for you

ok, what do you see
when you look into his eyes?
can you imagine if
he wasn''t in your life?

do you get butterflies
when you hear his name?
does he tell you all the time
that he feels the same?

do you restless
every second your apart?
last one girl,
can you feel it in your heart?