I had once thought

I had once thought
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!
  

Jun, 18 2010     624 chars (4 sms)     4240 views       English Poetry

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and even the emptiness
begins to fill up the air
Even if u are gone to the world
OF eternity Far off far away
with every passing beat of my heart
i will be by ur side my Love
Always there for u
to see the smile of urs
in the heavens above !
As I walk through the valley
of the shadow of LA
The footsteps that were next to me
have gone their separate ways
I''ve seen enough now
to know that beautiful things
don''t always stay that way
I''ve done enough now
to know this beautiful place
isn''t everything they say
In those moments of truthful silence
With deepest desires, eyes filled
Of passion, of treading the world hence
Life seems still, as courage is instilled.
.
Unlike an obstacle, the waves really charm
The salty breeze seems so hard to resist
Will they hug me and set my mind at calm ?
Or will I drift away, like the sand from my fist ?
.
Far ahead, I see a ship set sail
As the birds make a ruckus, much like the waves
From the sea, shall be born a great tale
Else the road lies dark to long forgotten graves
.
The lonely wave grows really tall
My thoughts they are, my life they make
In drenched glory, I yearn to see it all
Or is this just a mirage for my earthy sake ?
You showed me the sea..though your depiction
Her turbulent surface..chides my emotions
Her serene belly...recalls my intentions
The setting sun...reminds me of lost time
Fistful of sand...coerceing to let bygones be
Wave''s dance with winds...accentuates team-spirit
Sails at full mast.....suggests effeciency at peak
One has become Moses and has seen the Beloved on Mount Sinai.
One, like Jesus, has seen the Beloved while crucified.

One has seen in the dark, another in the light.
Each person has a different path to the Friend’s neighborhood.

One becomes like soil, and kisses the threshold.
Another becomes fervent then flutters.

One, like Mazun, makes his chest a shield,
seeking the arrow of love.
Once all EMOTIONS
decided to play
Hide n Seek

PAIN started counting
...n All Other were hiding.

LIE hid near the tree..
LOVE cudn''t get a place
to hide so he hid himself
in a Rose bush..
Everyone was caught
except LOVE
But
MADNESS told PAIN abt
LOVE..
PAIN jumped in d bush n
whn came out LOVE lost
his eyes coz of the thorns..

Then GOD cursed PAIN n
he was ordered 2 b wid
LOVE 4ever.

Since then..

"LOVE is BLIND n always
accompanied by PAIN"
I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I''ll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you''re always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don''t have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those hazel eyes
Hoping to understand
why you''ve said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek
Suddenly in the distance, a shadow appears,
A tear rolls down my face and the image is clear.
Are you still mine?
Cause there many...
Fantasies thoughts going through my head,
As all I do is think of you...
As I''ve hungered,
For your loving burning touch,
As I need your love so badly,
Now till the end of time,
I am waiting for you with open arms
To embrace you with wings of love,
To hold you deep within my soul,
To kiss you without control.
Just being near you,
And be able to behold your touch,
Takes me to another dimension,
But, time just moving so slowly,
To feel the heat of your passions.
I do want you to know...
I will always love you,
That you are all I have ever long for,
And crave, and yearn...
That you are the ANGEL of my dreams,
The one I have search all my life,
That every day, more and more,
I''m falling deeply in love with you!
When I fall in love,
I want to be
with her
always;

In happiness,
to smile with her,
and be the one
to hug her near.

In sadness,
to cry with her,
and be the one
to dry her tears.

When I fall in love,
I will spend my
every waking
and sleeping
moments
with her

and catch each
moment in its
eternally
lovely
form.

When I fall in love,
I will miss her
the very moment
I say ''goodbye''

and my heart
will yearn for
the very moment
I say ‘hello''.
I FOUND YOU
Love can be,
found in the wormth of a kiss,in a touch
or a lingering embrace….
Love can be
found in a sweet,tender glance or a
smile that laughts up the face…
Love can be
found in words softly spoken,in
comfertable silence too….
Love can be
found in any number of ways…
And I FOUND LOVE
when…..

“I FOUND YOU” I FOUND YOU
Love can be,
found in the wormth of a kiss,in a touch
or a lingering embrace….
Love can be
found in a sweet,tender glance or a
smile that laughts up the face…
Love can be
found in words softly spoken,in
comfertable silence too….
Love can be
found in any number of ways…
And I FOUND LOVE
when…..

“I FOUND YOU”
Burning pain
Misery and tears
My heart torn by broken promises
Your lies echo through my mind
No place to run
No place to hide
I try to ignore my pain
Daily my tears flow
My beauty marred
My spirit crushed
Your anger
Your criticism
Your violence
I can do no right
I try to please, to make things acceptable
For you
To no avail
How to end my suffering
There is no respite
By you, my deep love forgotten
There are others who fill your thoughts
Who make you smile
I Almost Gave In
I Almost Lost This Day
Almost Got To Me Into The Air
My Hands Tossed
Almost Walked Away
Almost Cried
Almost Threw Caution Into The Wind
Happiness For Myself I Almost Denied
Almost…
Then…
I Felt A Brush Of Love Againt My Face
Wings Wrapped Around Me In A Warm Embrace
I Heard A Whisper Into My Ear….
Dont Giveup, I’m Rite Here