I had once thought

I had once thought
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!
  

Jun, 18 2010     624 chars (4 sms)     2809 views       English Poetry

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If only the world could see what I feel
then, would the world, know who I am
I''ve loved, lost and feared the world
for it is sometimes too much to bare

Control, power, is what I fear
for I am weak inside and full of pain
I shout and cry, but knowing
there is nobody there to hear me
I swallow the shame and anger
that lies beneath me

I am lost to reality and living in time
Though I am struggling through life
and all that it offers, I am only human
and that is what makes me . . . Me.

Still, I wish for the happiness and pleasure
that I have earned, but realize that, I have
not yet overcome the world''s greatest challenge

Love! and how to accept it -
I am ready to face my fears
Do You Remember?

Handsome, your beauty surpasses other beauties.
Write, let me know how you are doing, peri.

Everybody did, what happens if I do?
Describing your charm in this gathering, peri?

Your breasts are like marble. Your alef-like stature resembles spruce.
Around your flower-like face, curl to curl, is ambergris scented hair.

You’d sleep and I’d stay all night till dawn,
Guarding your assets and riches, peri.

The day I fell in love with your moon-like charm.
I found that my incurable pain had no remedy.

Do you remember, I was saying: Dawn, Dawn?
Praying no ruin falls on you, peri?
People frm every walk of life
Envisage victory and strife
But at some point u find
Tardiness in ur life and mind
Your life stops and comes to an end
And u are in oblivion with nothing to fight for or defend
Anything may stimulate it
Personal loss or a jobles status maybe fit
But such a break from your daily buzz
Lets u rethink on your deed with not much fuss
then u realise that all those painstaking days
With pangs of emotion ,joy and anger has left u frail
Making u maudlin and in a state of enigma
U wail out unconsciously ''Oh Ma...''
Then u wonder y u were ever born
Is it to end up like this ,hopeless and forlorn???
U ponder over your contribution to the world
Then as u go deeper to the murky mind,u even question the existence of such a world
Give me death! I pray every day
Leave me not, to sigh, in every way
Seen I have, those beautiful days
Those little red flowers in an awesome place.

Why these windows, in front of me?
And all the beauty outside, and free
Ran, I have upon the soft wet ground
I walk far no more, just safe and sound

My beloved ones, have all gone away
Laughter, I yearn to hear, to be merry and gay
Tears, I have in my heart and dreams too
Like my youth, won`t the pills vanish too?

Years and years, have I spent in glee?
To sit here and look at the old worn tree
Searched I have, for a leaf of hope,
A lover from the skies, with whom to elope
in your eyes, i dont see any love anymore
you are the one i need
and am not the one you are looking for
i begged you before i leave
keep me close, i am so naive
......you pushed me out
and you closed the door
In those moments of truthful silence
With deepest desires, eyes filled
Of passion, of treading the world hence
Life seems still, as courage is instilled.
.
Unlike an obstacle, the waves really charm
The salty breeze seems so hard to resist
Will they hug me and set my mind at calm ?
Or will I drift away, like the sand from my fist ?
.
Far ahead, I see a ship set sail
As the birds make a ruckus, much like the waves
From the sea, shall be born a great tale
Else the road lies dark to long forgotten graves
.
The lonely wave grows really tall
My thoughts they are, my life they make
In drenched glory, I yearn to see it all
Or is this just a mirage for my earthy sake ?
A Little Act Of,
***Kindness***
Can Fill A Heart with
****Joy****
***Eid Mubarik***
-=-Nothing Last Forever-=-

Life is just a game
You hold your own weight
Make your own mistakes
You only get one chance
To show who you are

Live day by day
Year by year
Your heart aches
You don''t know who are you
Falling in love hurts
But you can''t live with out it

Lay your life down
Give your heart away
Let yourself fall so deep
You give up everything
For ''''Trust'''' n ''''Love''''

Nothing Last Forever
Hold on to what you have
Don''t let go ...
I Cry
Sometimes When I''m Alone
I Cry,
Cause I Am On My Own.
The Tears I Cry Are Bitter And Warm.
They Flow With Life But Take No Form
I Cry Because My Heart Is Torn.
I Find It Difficult To Carry On.

If I Had An Ear To Confiding,
I Would Cry Among My Treasured Friend,
But Who Do You Know That Stops That Long,
To Help Another Carry On.


The World Moves Fast And It Would Rather Pass By.
Then To Stop And See What Makes One Cry,
So Painful And Sad.
And Sometimes…
I Cry
And No One Cares About Why.
O Bearer, bring the wine that brings joy
To increase generosity, & let perfection buoy
Give me some, for I have lost my heart
Both traits from me have kept apart
Bring the wine whose reflection in the cup
Signals to all the kings whose times are up
Give me wine, and with the reed-flute I will sing
When was Jamshid, and when Kavoos was king
Bring me the elixir whose grace and alchemy
Bestows treasures, from bonds of time sets free
Give me so they''ll open the doors once again
Of long life and the bliss that will remain
Bearer give the wine that the Holy Grail
Will make claims of sight in the Void and thus fail
Give me so that I, with the help of the Grail
All secrets, like Jamshid, themselves avail
Speak of the tale of the wheel of fate
As I turn out the lightAs I turn out the light
And look up the moon
I put my hands together
And pray that your okay

I gaze across the sky
And court the many stars
As I wonder what you are doing
Wonder where you are

No matter where I go
I always see your face
I hear the sound of your voice
In every single place

Although you’re far away
In my heart you’ll always be
In my prayers you’ll always mentioned
In my dreams you’ll always seen….



As i Look the stars above me,
I wish you were somewhere
I Almost Gave In
I Almost Lost This Day
Almost Got To Me Into The Air
My Hands Tossed
Almost Walked Away
Almost Cried
Almost Threw Caution Into The Wind
Happiness For Myself I Almost Denied
Almost…
Then…
I Felt A Brush Of Love Againt My Face
Wings Wrapped Around Me In A Warm Embrace
I Heard A Whisper Into My Ear….
Dont Giveup, I’m Rite Here