Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!
Wife to her friend: My hubby bought me a Mood ring the other day. When I''m in a gud mood, it turns Green & when Im in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead!