SmiLiNg Is NoT

SmiLiNg Is NoT
SmiLiNg Is NoT My ReAliTy,
ThIs Is HoW I PrEtEnD To Be,
By NiGhT I CrY MySeLf To SlEeP,
WiD My GoD FrOwNiNg At Me,
DrOwnInG In A FlOoD Of TeArS,
BuT TeArs Are My DeStInY,
My ViSiOn A BlUr As I FuLLFiLL,
AnD ThIs Is HoW I MeAnT To Be,
My LiFe UnWoRthY,
My SelF To KiLL,
ExIsTeNcE A ToRtUrE I MuSt EnDurE,
As U RegArDeD SuiCiDe As SiN,
I M NoT AgAiNsT U My HeArt Is PuRe,
FaTe Is MoCkInG WiTh An EviL GriN,
SuRrOuNDeD In A BlAcK NeSs So DeEp,
I WaLk,I SeE But SuRvIvE No MoRe,
I M DeAd InSiDe,
In DaRkNeSs WeEp,
YoU KnoW I LoVe U,
LIkE EvEr BeFoRe,
FoRgIvE Me As In My GrAvE I LaY,
FrEe Me oF ThiS PaIn AnD LeT Me DiE,
I JuSt CaNT BaRe It AnY MoRe:''(
  

Jun, 18 2010     672 chars (5 sms)     2897 views       English Poetry

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On your knee, in the lamplight,
dipping buttered toast in your coffee,
I hear the hush of the silent house.
The other children gone off to school,
you and I sit together
alone in the dim morning light,
full of love and trust,
chattering to one another about
simple times with unfurrowed brows.
We were so close then.
I hold that memory in my mind
like an old black and white photograph
one would carry in a wallet, worn soft
from years of riding in a back pocket,
a photo
showing the ones you love,
the most beautiful mother,
the best loved and dearest held,
the treasured one--
to be shown far from home.
you hold me close i feel so loved with feelings warm and true
you bring me hope, you bring me joy, you bring me all of you
you tell me so much in unspoken words, just actions and a smile
you help me believe that i can trust, and feel safe for a while
you hold me and surround me, make me feel so safe
your kiss and touch engulfs me, takes me to a higher place
you talk to me so tenderly, without saying a word
you show me that i''m needed, that only our hearts are heard
you help me see the totalness the completeness of only you
you show me without selfishness, the inner truth thats you
you take my hopes and all my dreams, help them to be real
you hold me close on angels wings, show me love that i can feel
Whn dere''s no frend
Whn lyf is on d dead end
Whn world isn''t a paradise
Whn ur confidence dies
Tell urself
"Go On, This Is LIFE"

Whn things dn''t go right
Whr dere''s no ray of lite
And its too hard to survive
Tell urself
"Go On, This Is LIFE"

Whn other dn''t respect u
Whn u r nt amongst d admirable few
Whn for a question, u can''t find a solution
Whn u r sure abt, is confusion
Tell urself
"Go On, This Is LIFE"

Whn ur destination is miles apart
Whn u dn''t knw whr to start
Whn all u c around in pain
Whn ur hardwork is in vain
Tell urself
"Go On, This Is LIFE"
The ship moves afar as the sun sets to sleep
In my blindness, do I see nature taunt?
My legs in the sand, are down pretty deep
Will I conquer the calm blue sea, and everything beyond ?
I don''t know what it is
that is making me fall for you.
There is just something,
something hidden within.
You are starting to mean a lot,
I hope things turn out good,
no matter what happens.
In all ways-
You will still be my friend.
I have come to know you,
you are a really fun person.
I am tired of hearing bad things
and they are all about you.
I don''t believe any of them,
because I believe you.
You would be my first boyfriend,
I wouldn''t mind that being you.
So come into my life,
as if it were yours.
You are welcome to my heart,
as long as you don''t break it.
You break it, you buy it.
Burning pain
Misery and tears
My heart torn by broken promises
Your lies echo through my mind
No place to run
No place to hide
I try to ignore my pain
Daily my tears flow
My beauty marred
My spirit crushed
Your anger
Your criticism
Your violence
I can do no right
I try to please, to make things acceptable
For you
To no avail
How to end my suffering
There is no respite
By you, my deep love forgotten
There are others who fill your thoughts
Who make you smile
Laugh so hard that even
sorrow smiles at u!
Live life so well that even
death loves to see u live!
Fight so hard that even
fate accepts its defeat.
Where do you run in such a hurry?
To the embracing arms of god,
Or to relish a feast, spread by the lord
Is there someone there to ferry?
To another bank of this mad river.

"Going Home", you say, and I stare
"What is home?", I''ve never known
"What do you do there?", I seek by my own
"It`s night!, I am going to sleep"
I died in laughter that day and my life long.

Slept, I have all this life, right here
On this solid ground, slept in peace.
No lack of mirth, in my hungry soul
No lack of bruises, on my lonely body
And, Slept I have in peace, right here.

"Why on the streets?", you demand to know
"Help yourselves", you seem to say
"Why, Where and How?", my eyes plead
Do you have the time to show me the way?
Poor Helpless soul, you simply walk away.
At every sunset, I cry and plead
Slow and just living, and yet I bleed
With angst, do I cry, take me home.
Please take me away from this old age home.
Life taught me many things,
Some sweet moments some bitter ones,
Some I remember some I forgot,
But what remained always was our precious friendship.
Daydream

Whenever I day dream,
and day dream I do,
in my secret garden,
I day dream of you.

I day dream of you,
in a faraway land;
embracing me tight
and holding my hand.

Holding my hand,
and touching my face.
Just you and me,
in this peaceful place.

In this peaceful place
a pristine river flows.
Where the unicorns run,
a breeze always blows.

A breeze always blows
and sings of a song;
our love in a place
where you''re never gone.

Where you''re never gone
is as it would seem,
from dusk until dawn,
whenever I day dream.

And whenever I day dream,
and day dream I do,
in my secret garden,
I day dream of you.
One has become Moses and has seen the Beloved on Mount Sinai.
One, like Jesus, has seen the Beloved while crucified.

One has seen in the dark, another in the light.
Each person has a different path to the Friend’s neighborhood.

One becomes like soil, and kisses the threshold.
Another becomes fervent then flutters.

One, like Mazun, makes his chest a shield,
seeking the arrow of love.