SmiLiNg Is NoT

SmiLiNg Is NoT
SmiLiNg Is NoT My ReAliTy,
ThIs Is HoW I PrEtEnD To Be,
By NiGhT I CrY MySeLf To SlEeP,
WiD My GoD FrOwNiNg At Me,
DrOwnInG In A FlOoD Of TeArS,
BuT TeArs Are My DeStInY,
My ViSiOn A BlUr As I FuLLFiLL,
AnD ThIs Is HoW I MeAnT To Be,
My LiFe UnWoRthY,
My SelF To KiLL,
ExIsTeNcE A ToRtUrE I MuSt EnDurE,
As U RegArDeD SuiCiDe As SiN,
I M NoT AgAiNsT U My HeArt Is PuRe,
FaTe Is MoCkInG WiTh An EviL GriN,
SuRrOuNDeD In A BlAcK NeSs So DeEp,
I WaLk,I SeE But SuRvIvE No MoRe,
I M DeAd InSiDe,
In DaRkNeSs WeEp,
YoU KnoW I LoVe U,
LIkE EvEr BeFoRe,
FoRgIvE Me As In My GrAvE I LaY,
FrEe Me oF ThiS PaIn AnD LeT Me DiE,
I JuSt CaNT BaRe It AnY MoRe:''(
  

Jun, 18 2010     672 chars (5 sms)     3019 views       English Poetry

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The past
is an archive of events
even when I die,
you turn back your neck
and I''ll eternally
have what came
before

and there''s somewhere
somewhere a man
singing softly
unique and parched
it''s all the pain
holding her
in my arms

Vessel to the words
he can''t see before
before the chords

Maddened by a red sun
skeptical
going on through this
and behind
a wagging tail
the sands continue
to sift

A little past
the way we were
And then, by that
will always be...!!!
Life taught me many things,
Some sweet moments some bitter ones,
Some I remember some I forgot,
But what remained always was our precious friendship.
Love Me In The Springtime,
When All Is Green & New,
Love Me In The Summer,
When The Sky Is Oh So Blue,
Love Me In The Autumn,
When The Leaves R Turning Brown,
Love Me In The Winter,
When The Snow Is Falling Down.
Love Me When I''m Happy,
And Even When I''m Sad,
Love Me When I''m Good,
Or When I''m Oh So Bad,
Love Me When I''m Pretty,
Or If My Face Is Plain,
Love Me When I''m Feeling Good,
Or When I''m Feeling Pain.
Love Me Always Darlin'',
In The Rain Or Shining Sun,
Love Me Always Darlin'',
Until All Our Life Is Through,
Love Me Always Darlin'',
For I''ll Be Lovin'' You.
You’re welcome sit down here
Between welcome and farewell I sat there
She starts to click her fingers and toes
Music Music out of this noise
My ears assured me and even nose
...Perfume tidiness cleanliness are highlighted
As well as their papers lit Phosphorus
No more mess, no more Chaos in this chorus
She and she and she are the tops of the hierarchy
Infected us with Poise that topples our anarchy
Now it’s clear that King Lear was right
In his abundance of the Monarchy
For the benefit of two girls
Since oranges can’t be compared to apples
Thanks to their Oranges’ Adam’ apple
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
At every sunset, I cry and plead
Slow and just living, and yet I bleed
With angst, do I cry, take me home.
Please take me away from this old age home.
Why

Oh God, one cannot argue with you, but,
why did you throw us in the fire of love?

You formed us with your power, and water and clay.
Why did you create the moon-like beauties?

You made eyebrows into pens, and locks of hair into lassos.
You made sugar-water limpid from sweet lips.

If you wanted me not to become afflicted and degraded,
why did you create lovesick girls?

If you wanted submission and prayers,
you would not have given beauties coquetry and coyness.

If false love is a sin,
why did you make drunkard eyes drunk?
In those moments of truthful silence
With deepest desires, eyes filled
Of passion, of treading the world hence
Life seems still, as courage is instilled.
.
Unlike an obstacle, the waves really charm
The salty breeze seems so hard to resist
Will they hug me and set my mind at calm ?
Or will I drift away, like the sand from my fist ?
.
Far ahead, I see a ship set sail
As the birds make a ruckus, much like the waves
From the sea, shall be born a great tale
Else the road lies dark to long forgotten graves
.
The lonely wave grows really tall
My thoughts they are, my life they make
In drenched glory, I yearn to see it all
Or is this just a mirage for my earthy sake ?
I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I''ll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you''re always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don''t have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those hazel eyes
Hoping to understand
why you''ve said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek
Suddenly in the distance, a shadow appears,
A tear rolls down my face and the image is clear.
It makes me gloomy
It makes me cry
That you are a charmer & your love was a lie ...

You''re my love & without you
I''LL DIE ... I''LL DIE ...

But now waves of time has shown me tha path
It''s not death, where I want to resort ...

My lovely anguish told me to what to do?

I DON''T LOVE YOU BUT
I LOVE TO ABHOR YOU ...
I Almost Gave In
I Almost Lost This Day
Almost Got To Me Into The Air
My Hands Tossed
Almost Walked Away
Almost Cried
Almost Threw Caution Into The Wind
Happiness For Myself I Almost Denied
Almost…
Then…
I Felt A Brush Of Love Againt My Face
Wings Wrapped Around Me In A Warm Embrace
I Heard A Whisper Into My Ear….
Dont Giveup, I’m Rite Here
in your eyes, i dont see any love anymore
you are the one i need
and am not the one you are looking for
i begged you before i leave
keep me close, i am so naive
......you pushed me out
and you closed the door