SmiLiNg Is NoT

SmiLiNg Is NoT
SmiLiNg Is NoT My ReAliTy,
ThIs Is HoW I PrEtEnD To Be,
By NiGhT I CrY MySeLf To SlEeP,
WiD My GoD FrOwNiNg At Me,
DrOwnInG In A FlOoD Of TeArS,
BuT TeArs Are My DeStInY,
My ViSiOn A BlUr As I FuLLFiLL,
AnD ThIs Is HoW I MeAnT To Be,
My LiFe UnWoRthY,
My SelF To KiLL,
ExIsTeNcE A ToRtUrE I MuSt EnDurE,
As U RegArDeD SuiCiDe As SiN,
I M NoT AgAiNsT U My HeArt Is PuRe,
FaTe Is MoCkInG WiTh An EviL GriN,
SuRrOuNDeD In A BlAcK NeSs So DeEp,
I WaLk,I SeE But SuRvIvE No MoRe,
I M DeAd InSiDe,
In DaRkNeSs WeEp,
YoU KnoW I LoVe U,
LIkE EvEr BeFoRe,
FoRgIvE Me As In My GrAvE I LaY,
FrEe Me oF ThiS PaIn AnD LeT Me DiE,
I JuSt CaNT BaRe It AnY MoRe:''(
  

Jun, 18 2010     672 chars (5 sms)     3013 views       English Poetry

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SHAKESPEARE SAYS,
"It is not necessary to share
everything between true friends.
But it is necessary
that what you share must be true."
I fight 4 d unconventional
as ma lyf is very unconditional
i''ld try 2 b as real as i can
my disadvantage is, i neva knew d plan
i suffered alot buh still i fight
doesn''t matter i win or lose,atleast i tried
at d end ov d day, u just knw 1 thing
tht if u gt sum1,u''ve gt everything
u think tht sum1 is d world, d lyf, ur aim
buh mayb u r wrong ven lyf plays d game
dono,ve u identified me, ma lyfstyle, ma tone?
d thing tht i c is um just alone, awl alone!!!
lukin 4 d future,observing present,faced d past
u dnt gt wt u want, as d lyf passes by so fast!!
can you see it in my eyes??

you dont knw how i m feelin
i have yet to vocalize
desire deep inside me
can you see it in my eyes??
i tremble when i m near you
heat travels up my thighs..and i want you with an urgency
that i just cant descirbe
dare i reachout to touch you ..do u think you''d realize
how much i want n need u
can you see it in my eyes
i long to say i luv u
but am scared of ur reply
terrified like a child
i have become paralaysed
the camaouflaged emotions lead to pain n slient cries
and yet i just cant tell u..
dont you see it in my eyes??
confessin through dis poem
my dilemma summarized
in your eyes, i dont see any love anymore
you are the one i need
and am not the one you are looking for
i begged you before i leave
keep me close, i am so naive
......you pushed me out
and you closed the door
When I fall in love,
I want to be
with her
always;

In happiness,
to smile with her,
and be the one
to hug her near.

In sadness,
to cry with her,
and be the one
to dry her tears.

When I fall in love,
I will spend my
every waking
and sleeping
moments
with her

and catch each
moment in its
eternally
lovely
form.

When I fall in love,
I will miss her
the very moment
I say ''goodbye''

and my heart
will yearn for
the very moment
I say ‘hello''.
O Bearer, bring the wine that brings joy
To increase generosity, & let perfection buoy
Give me some, for I have lost my heart
Both traits from me have kept apart
Bring the wine whose reflection in the cup
Signals to all the kings whose times are up
Give me wine, and with the reed-flute I will sing
When was Jamshid, and when Kavoos was king
Bring me the elixir whose grace and alchemy
Bestows treasures, from bonds of time sets free
Give me so they''ll open the doors once again
Of long life and the bliss that will remain
Bearer give the wine that the Holy Grail
Will make claims of sight in the Void and thus fail
Give me so that I, with the help of the Grail
All secrets, like Jamshid, themselves avail
Speak of the tale of the wheel of fate
Life taught me many things,
Some sweet moments some bitter ones,
Some I remember some I forgot,
But what remained always was our precious friendship.
People frm every walk of life
Envisage victory and strife
But at some point u find
Tardiness in ur life and mind
Your life stops and comes to an end
And u are in oblivion with nothing to fight for or defend
Anything may stimulate it
Personal loss or a jobles status maybe fit
But such a break from your daily buzz
Lets u rethink on your deed with not much fuss
then u realise that all those painstaking days
With pangs of emotion ,joy and anger has left u frail
Making u maudlin and in a state of enigma
U wail out unconsciously ''Oh Ma...''
Then u wonder y u were ever born
Is it to end up like this ,hopeless and forlorn???
U ponder over your contribution to the world
Then as u go deeper to the murky mind,u even question the existence of such a world
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.
The day I met u I saw strength
and I knew from that point on
that u were pure woman 2 me
possessing a spirit that was strong
I want smiles 2 replace the sorrow
that u have encountered in the past
and since it was strength that attracted me 2 u
it will take strength 2 make it last
My negative side will attempt 2 change u
but please fight that with your all
it will be your strength that keep us both standing
while others around us fall
So often when I am embracing you,
It seems that you exist in this world
only because of me and I exist because of you.

It''s not easy to wander in this world
and not lose one''s way,
but the greatest happiness of all
is in giving joy to one''s beloved.

And if the king can have his throne,
and if the bird can have his Spring nest,
and God can have his heaven,
then I, my sweetheart, I can have you!
Forever seems like eternity
Yet I want to spend it with you,
Gazing into your loving eyes
Of a greeny hazel blue.
I long to be held in your sweet embrace
And to feel the warmth of your kiss,
For all my dreams are filled with you
As this is my only wish.
I wish to be able to see you
And to hold you, as you fall asleep at night,
For you enter all of my dreams and thoughts
And you make my smile forever bright.
Whether my dreams are during the night
Or during the blissful day
I hear your dear sweet, loving voice
And it reminds me I love you in everyway.
I just hope that after I wake up
You are still really there,
For you are my one true love
And you leave me floating in the air.