SmiLiNg Is NoT

SmiLiNg Is NoT
SmiLiNg Is NoT My ReAliTy,
ThIs Is HoW I PrEtEnD To Be,
By NiGhT I CrY MySeLf To SlEeP,
WiD My GoD FrOwNiNg At Me,
DrOwnInG In A FlOoD Of TeArS,
BuT TeArs Are My DeStInY,
My ViSiOn A BlUr As I FuLLFiLL,
AnD ThIs Is HoW I MeAnT To Be,
My LiFe UnWoRthY,
My SelF To KiLL,
ExIsTeNcE A ToRtUrE I MuSt EnDurE,
As U RegArDeD SuiCiDe As SiN,
I M NoT AgAiNsT U My HeArt Is PuRe,
FaTe Is MoCkInG WiTh An EviL GriN,
SuRrOuNDeD In A BlAcK NeSs So DeEp,
I WaLk,I SeE But SuRvIvE No MoRe,
I M DeAd InSiDe,
In DaRkNeSs WeEp,
YoU KnoW I LoVe U,
LIkE EvEr BeFoRe,
FoRgIvE Me As In My GrAvE I LaY,
FrEe Me oF ThiS PaIn AnD LeT Me DiE,
I JuSt CaNT BaRe It AnY MoRe:''(
  

Jun, 18 2010     672 chars (5 sms)     3319 views       English Poetry

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A life of dreams to yet unfold.
Each passing day as we grow old.
We are but one, as we learn to walk Still,
very little as we start to talk.
By the age of five, to school we go,
To learn much more that we don''t know.
As we hit ten, our world''s the books;
Just turn the page and take a look...
Your feeling is depressed... You always seem to be depressed and cry easily. You
are a bit (ok, more than a bit) over
emotional and are too sensitive. You rarely
smile, and when you do, it''s very weak...
your eyes always seem to be misty and though
others have tried to console you of your
sorrow in the past, no one can seem to get
through to you that there''s more to life than
being sad. No no one seems to hang around you
anymore which makes you feel worse, and you
feel as you''re loved by no one except maybe
your family. People might see you as the
"girl who doesn''t talk to anyone",
Have you ever been in love?
so in love that you couldn''t form those words
thoughts buzzing in your head that you dare not speak
afraid to speak because you might say something dumb
you crawl into your own world
keep your feelings to yourself
no one knows how you feel inside, sometimes not even yourself
you giggle crazily when he is around
you feel like you will die when you hug goodbye
at the end of the day your going crazy with anticipation for tomorrow
you gather all your courage to finally say those words
you grab your pen and spill your emotins onto the paper
expressing all your love on one sheet of paper
its agony to hand it over to the one you love
the fear of rejection is greater than any pain you know
you finally let go and walk away
I look up
as a tear rolls slowly
down my cheek
I think about better days
and wonder if I''ll feel that way again
you look at me
with those eyes I know so well
always serious, so deep and insightful
as though you''re always in control
But not today
not now
Now you look so scared
like for once you don''t have the answer
I gaze at you
looking deep into those hazel eyes
Hoping to understand
why you''ve said those things you did
I wonder for a moment
if this is all a dream
if I shall wake in the morning
and be relieved
you look at me
with a confusion I have never seen
slowly pull me towards you
and wipe the tears from my cheek
Suddenly in the distance, a shadow appears,
A tear rolls down my face and the image is clear.
~Tough Time Don''t Last~

I said
"Sometimes I fail"
HE said
"I''ll see you through"
I said
"But what if I fall?"
HE said
"I''ll carry you"

I said
"My fears r gr8"
HE said
"Trust me alone"
I said
"But I''m depressed"
HE said
"I''ll cheer you on"

I said
"Life isn''t easy"
HE said
"Please, let Me help.
Remember, I love you"
I said
"GOD, I accepted" ...
V never have what v like,
V never like what v have,
Still v live,luv,n hope that sum day v’ll get what v luv,
Or luv what v have.
That’s life!!!
if one day you feel like crying...
call me.
i dont promise you that i will male you laugh,
but i can cry with you.

if one day you want to run away....
dont be a afraid to call me.
i dont promise to ask you to stay,
but i can run with you..

if one day you dont want to listen to anybody,
call me...

i promise to be very quiet.

but
if one day you call me
and there is no answer....

come fast to see me,
perhaps i need you.
Why

Oh God, one cannot argue with you, but,
why did you throw us in the fire of love?

You formed us with your power, and water and clay.
Why did you create the moon-like beauties?

You made eyebrows into pens, and locks of hair into lassos.
You made sugar-water limpid from sweet lips.

If you wanted me not to become afflicted and degraded,
why did you create lovesick girls?

If you wanted submission and prayers,
you would not have given beauties coquetry and coyness.

If false love is a sin,
why did you make drunkard eyes drunk?
Even if the candles fade away
and winds of silence start blowin
and rotten leaves start to
embrace ur coffin
and roses that lay by ur grave
begin to wither petal after petal
Even if the clouds passing by
shed their tears in blind agony
and even the stars
that we used to see together
that sparkeled our love
begin to glimmer
like as if they were never there
even if the suns of happiness
leave the evenings of ur heart
and the autumns of death
triumph the valleys of ur life
You’ve been given feeling to me all night
And I can’t leave unless you''re leaving with me tonight
Now it’s not difficult to tell you''re selecting
And I think you''re selecting me
To lead you - can’t you see?

I wanna leave with you gotta take you home
I can see it inside my head
That if I leave with you and I get you home
you’re gonne love what I do when I’m on top of you
when I’m on top of you
These tears won''t fall,
I won''t let them drop,
I''ll wipe my eyes,
I''ll make them stop,

These tears won''t fall,
I won''t let you see,
All of the pain,
That you''ve caused to me,

These tears won''t fall,
I''ll hide them away,
Faking a smile,
For another day,

These tears won''t fall,
I''ll pretend that I''m strong,
But inside I know
That it won''t befor long,

These tears won''t fall,
Nobody will see,
I''ll bury them deep
Inside of me,

These tears won''t fall,
I won''t let them drop,
I''ll wipe my eyes,
And I''ll make them stop
"It's difficult to wait for some one,
&
It's difficult to forget some one,
But
The most difficult thing is to decide wether to wait or forget some one"